Focus: Step 7

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Most of us lack capacity to stay focused on our goals. We all spend so much time focusing on the bad things that enter or happen in our lives which is a waste of time and energy.  As a result, we do not meet our full potential. It is important that our mind does not wander from what is important and the task we are working on, we must complete it. In order to develop good focusing skills, we can practise two daily exercises.   One is the 3-to-1 Ratio and the other is the Dot Exercise.

My Action Plan:

The 3-to-1 Ratio involves every time I have a negative thought, generate three positive thoughts or feelings.  If I do this I will have a more positive outlook and my business and relationships will improve greatly. Over time I will be able to do this automatically and I will be overall a more positive person.

The Dot Exercise involves drawing a black dot on a piece of paper about a quarter of an inch in diameter.  I place it on the floor or stick to the wall in front of me.  I stare at the dot while breathing steadily and slowly and do it without blinking my eyes.  When my eyes water, I close them, then open them again and repeat.  This not only helps focus but it strengthens the optic nerve.  I start by doing this for only one minute, then extend it to three minutes.  It will gradually get easier the more I do it.  I time myself so I know I am doing this for the correct amount of time. This exercise teaches focus.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter seven). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

Self-Image: Step 6

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The way we view ourselves and how we think other people view us plays a large part in other people's perception of us. If we have a negative self-image our chance of success will unlikely change for the good. It does not matter how many 'things' we acquire, we will never feel any satisfaction if we don't feel worthy on the inside. For example, if we believe we are unattractive, we will project this outwardly which people will pick up and they will perceive us in the same way. Children soak up negative beliefs. By 9 to 11 years much of our personality is formed. People who continue to have cosmetic surgery are examples of a poor self-image, they never seem to have satisfaction from the results or be satisfied with the way they look. Being satisfied with ourselves will give us a richer, more successful and rewarding life.

My Action Plan:

1 Relax and focus on breathing.
2 Imagine myself as my real self as I am, a magnificent being.
3 Feel happy with myself and imagine the way I breathe, smile, stand, walk, talk and look. Think about handling problems in a graceful way. Focus on myself taking action with no distractions.
4 Feel how great it is to be my real self.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter Six). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

My Diary: Between The Festivities

More festivities start tomorrow evening with Hogmanay or better known as New Years Eve. The shops will be closed again for another few days. People will be partying again and no doubt I will hear the bangs of fireworks from my neighbours as midnight approaches. This time of year goes so fast. Everyone spends so much time preparing for Christmas and it is over in no time. The UK is lovely at Christmas, especially in the shops. They are all lit up with lights and decorations. After New Year, when the decorations come down, everything returns to normal. I think that after New Year most people are pleased to get back to their every day routine.

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I have had a lovely few days between Christmas and New Year. The roads are so quiet. The schools are off and most people are not back to work until after New Year. It will be a shock to the system for me when the roads get busy again. I am not usually on the roads at rush hour. I teach during after school hours and I work on my business at home. I do take my husband to work in the mornings after 7 pm. That is the time when I notice the traffic.

I did a bit of shopping, replacing the pan I ruined. I was cooking sticky rice, the rice stuck to the bottom of the pan and I could not remove it. The pan was binned, but I did find a new pan which was better quality. Hopefully, I will not ruin this one. I am great at baking but not so good at cooking. There are some things I can cook well, but I will just have to make an effort to learn new recipes.

I am going to the Showcase with my business the weekend after New Year. That will be something to look forward to. I am taking the train from Aberdeen to Birmingham. A long journey. I will stay over in Birmingham for two nights. We are having a presentation through the day and going out for a meal at night. I will meet up with so many people. Some I know and some new faces. I think I really need a break. Staying in a hotel is fantastic.

The sky is beautiful tonight, full of red and orange. Maybe it will be a nice day tomorrow? 'Red sky at night, shepherds delight'. It is not that cold outside. The winters are certainly getting warmer. Still cold enough for the heating to be on inside though.

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I will have to make my plans for this year. What are my goals? What I plan to do? Will I arrange a holiday? I am hoping to take a holiday to Morocco this year to see my in-laws. Some sun will do me good. Maybe during the summer time. I want to continue teaching music and build my customer base in my business. I am not good at making plans at all, but if I don't make them I will not achieve anything.

Belief: Step 5

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As human beings we are our own worst enemy.  We focus on the bad, create problems that do not exist and as a result miss out on opportunities.  Belief is what dictates our health, happiness, success and failure.  It also dictates the quality of our relationships. Successful people learn from every experience in their life whether it is good or bad. Most of us talk ourselves out of situations, because of this we ruin every good opportunity we are offered and to be honest it is not that difficult to find negativity in anything we do. We are conditioned as children to focus on the bad and make life difficult so we need to start dwelling on the positive.

We need to take action. Think what we want, what we have overcome and replace negative beliefs with ones that will empower us.  Fears come from childhood experiences that we carry into adulthood. We can choose whether we let these experiences affect our lives.

My Action Plan:

I have to identify problems and not let them control me. I don't need other peoples approval and be honest with myself.

1 What are my limiting beliefs?
Not smart enough, having children to hold me back, it is hard to make money, I am afraid of rejection, I am not a good leader, I cannot make money doing something I love, I can't do this.

2 Where these limiting beliefs came from?
Growing up with limiting beliefs that were imposed on me from others.

3 How they have limited my life?
They have made me afraid to move forward and take up new challenges.

4 How they affect my quality of life?
My life is not as rich and exciting as it could be.

5 How do they affect my finances?
My income has not grown and stayed the same.

6 How does it affect my relationships?
Not had as much fun and exiting experiences with friends.

7 Why I must change?
To expand my business, live a life with more memorable experiences and have a positive outlook of the world.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter Five). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

Action: Step 4

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What is the action I need to take?

I will commit to follow in the direction of my vision by following my heart and my dreams. Action needs to be taken in order to change my life. Having something to aim for and strive for that gives me a sense of purpose. Write small daily goals and have the motivation to improve. Saying 'someday' is not enough, I have to do more, perform better in order to get faster results. Keep using positive self-talk to keep me in a good frame of mind. Keep focused without petty distractions that use up my energy. Keep tasks productive and set specific times for relaxation so I keep moving towards my goals the rest of the time. I will take time with the people I love to give me a break from my hard work.

My Action Plan:

My main focus has to be doing tasks for by business. I feel the early days are hard as I don't have my success to keep me going, but I must remember why I am doing this. If I continue and don't give up I will get the results I am looking for. Once the momentum builds it becomes a lot easier. I am going to take 7 action steps. If I don't complete them on that day, I will do them the next day, but I have to prioritise which ones can be left to the following day. I will start at action step number 1 and proceed to number 2 once I have completed number 1. I will make this my daily habit and tick off each as I do them. This will give me a sense of achievement and satisfaction.

7 Action Steps:

1 Post to my selling group daily; products, interactive posts and recipes.
2 Think of any new goals that I have to do to work towards my vision as well as visualising my vision.
3 Keep building my customer numbers in my online shop by posting in external selling groups and keep on top of catalogue drops to keep increasing my customer numbers in my customer base.
4 Deliver and pick up catalogues, deliveries to customers, order products for customers.
5 Work on personal development through reading a little each day, taking notes and putting into practise.
6 Phone calls, check emails, check contact manager for new prospects and follow up any from the previous day.
7 Appointments and telephoning team members; telephone the prospects that I have booked appointments and follow up on any from the previous day, keep an eye on how my team members are doing and telephone them to offer tips for improvement.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter Four). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.  

Visualisation: Step 3

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How do we keep focused on our vision?

The subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined when we keep a detailed record of what we want through experiencing it in our mind, even though it has not happened yet. In other words see, feel, smell, hear, touch, taste and pay attention to the small details of our vision on how we want our life to be, so that the body thinks it is actually having the experience. This must be done regularly so our subconscious mind believes that our dreams have actually happened. Face every day with this focus. Feel positive and have feelings of joy and happiness. Feel proud in what we have achieved and feel grateful for it.

My Action Plan:

My intention needs to be really clear. It is easier to work towards my vision if I really know what I want. I want to be inspired, not force myself to work towards it. Feeling emotion is the first step, then connect some images to the emotion. I feel powerful in creating this vision and in control that it will be achieved. I imagine and make a picture of my vision with belief and expectation. I have already bought my dream house, have a holiday home, I am able to live at a slower pace and relax more and I have put my old life behind me. I visualise what my life is like in more detail. I need to keep mentally rehearsing for 10 minutes, twice a day, preferably morning and evening. The best way to do this is set aside 5 to 10 minutes a day, the same time each day and sit in a quiet, private place and visualise my vision. I have to bear in mind that the reason for this is I need to be in a relaxed state. Continue this for 21 days and keep mentally rehearsing until I am perfect at it.

A weak area for me is setting goals. I have to work extra hard at this. Dates need to be set in order to reach my goals. I have set my first 3 goals of Competence Levels 1 and 2, and to read my 10 personal development core books. I need to think about where I want to be financially by the end of the year.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter Three). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

Achieve What I Want: Step 2

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When I think about my vision of living a slower pace of life away from the constant hustle and bustle that we live nowadays, I know I will have to work hard to achieve it. My vision seems very far to reach so I will need to create goals so I have a path to work towards it. I am aware to not let my life be dominated by fear and doubt.  My vision is the final result. My goals are what gets me to my vision.

I am aware things will not always go to plan so I have to work around any difficulties. I will plan the next 5 years, break it down into achievable goals and keep reworking them as they might change over time.  This removes the fear as it makes my vision not so difficult to achieve. I need to keep reminding myself why I am doing this or I will not stay on my path. When I get knocked down I will get back up as I am going to experience failure and disappointment.  Say to myself 'I am having this', 'this is mine' and raise my expectations.

My Action Plan:
The best way to approach my action plan is to think of my goals to achieve over the next 5 years. Three goals I am going to achieve by the end of this year are Competence Levels 1 and 2, and read the 10 core books of personal development.

Competence Level 1 involves; attending two training workshops and the Company Conference, share my goals and my plan with my upline, watch the first four training videos several times.  Areas I have already achieved are; a Testimonial on the training webinar, set up my own website and contact manager, deal with 50 people a week who are interested in the business, track and record my business and contact my friends and family about the business.

Competence Level 2 involves; explaining the structure of a call, have 5 to 6 calls observed, get my team to gain commitment to the system, attend webinars, attend workshops and watch training videos 5 to 7 several times.  I also have to independently complete a minimum of 20 appointments and sponsor a minimum of 5 people which I have already achieved.

The ten core books of personal development are; Go Pro, Beach Money, The 10 Steps Workbook, 45 Second Presentation, 7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness, Skill With People/The Art of Dealing with People, The Zen of MLM, Dare to Dream and Work to Win, Compound Effect and Sumo.

To keep me focused on what I am doing, I will think positively about the future and by using motivating self-talk, it will keep me from procrastinating. Looking after my health will keep me in a good frame of mind, mentally and physically.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter Two). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

My Vision: Step 1

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What is my vision?

I find it difficult knowing what I want out of life. I am aware I want to live a more relaxing life, less stress and at a slower pace. In order to achieve this success, I need to make positive changes. These changes need not be big but, they can be done a little bit each day. What holds me back from achieving is low self-esteem and low confidence. I need to believe in myself and aim high in my achievements. These changes must be habitual and I need to focus on positive things rather than negative. I have to seriously imagine what I want. The quality is everything. If I design my perfect day it will be a step closer to achieving my vision. Then, I can move towards the path that helps me accomplish it.

My Action Plan:
First is to think five years ahead and picture how I want to be living. What do I do? Where do I live? How do I feel? Then, I must think of a clear and detailed account and write it down. Keep it in my mind and enjoy for a few minutes. My vision has to make me feel excited when I think about it. This is essential as these increased energy levels of excitement will spur me on towards achieving my goals.

In 5 years I generally want to have a good work and life balance. This involves my business being successful and being able to pay bills with no worries, having a happy married life and having time for relaxation and recreation. I want to make money passively with very little effort. In other words, I don't trade time for money. I want to be completely mobile and live exactly where I choose. I am not motivated by lots of things to be honest, so I feel my time is what is important to me as well as living in a home of my choice without adhering to a budget. My life will not work around time schedules for example; work at 9 am, lunch at 12.30 pm, home at 5 pm. I want to be more flexible, take the day as it comes and not be dictated by alarms, bells and clocks.

Goals I would like to achieve has been put on my vision board. I want to own my own property, have a holiday home abroad and be able to go on holiday a few times a year. Spending time with the people I love is also very important. This does not cost anything, but it is about having balance and harmony in my life and not just about material things and work. Balance is essential for my well-being.

O'Connor, Dave. How To Create The Mindset Of A Network Marketing Champion, (Chapter One). United Kingdom: Dreams Publishing, 2015. Print.

Manifest Your Way To Success

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When I first learned about manifestation, I thought this could never work. The reality is, if we really think about it, it makes sense. It is about knowing what we really want and the belief that these things will really come to us. There is a difference between wanting things and really knowing that we want. If we know what we want, we will know or learn how to work towards it. We have to really focus on our desires, this will reduce our resistance to achieving them. We are good at talking ourselves out of things by saying 'I can't do this' or 'I don't deserve this' or 'there is not enough time', does this sound familiar?

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When we focus on what we want, we think about the actions we need to take to achieve it. When we focus on the end result, it will lead us to the right path. Being grateful as if we have already achieved it, even if we have not, will also help us focus. This tricks the mind into thinking we have achieved our desires. We manifest in our minds what we have now, so if we are manifesting bad things, we have to change it.

Setting goals how to achieve what we want is essential or we will never move towards success. It all comes down to the choices we make.

Work is also an essential component. Work is success. Dreams - Work - Success. We all dream, but dreams will not become real without doing the work. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is successful people don't allow anything to stop them and they take action towards what they want. Unsuccessful people don't take action because they talk themselves out of things. Put this into practical use. I have learned from teaching that success when learning a musical instrument depends if we give up or continue to practise.

When we make the decision to be in a good mood, people will want to be around us. Thinking positive not only makes us feel good, but makes positive experiences, negative thinking makes negative experiences. When things go wrong, success depends on picking ourselves up and trying again.

Above all, learn to be patient. Success takes time and things do not happen overnight.

There are many motivational speakers to look up and learn more about manifestation such as Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer.

YouTube. (2016). Jim Rohn- See Things That Do Not Yet Exist. [online] Available at: https://youtu.be/cID5nJU2LW8 [Accessed 27 Dec. 2016].

Reiki Healing

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Reiki means universal life force energy. It is a system of healing to wash away and remove unhealthy energy. Gratitude is used as one method of healing taught by Dr. Randolph Shipon who is a psychologist and Reiki master.

Reiki can be used for relaxation, healing pain, anxiety, worries, stress and aids general well-being.

YouTube. (2016). Learn Reiki in Ten Minutes. [online] Available at: https://youtu.be/0DDw0BrIXrk [Accessed 27 Dec. 2016].

Have A Great Holiday Everyone!

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I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays. The end of another year. How time flies.

My Christmas is quiet this year. My brother and sister are away in Edinburgh celebrating with their families. I am here with my husband and we went to my parents to have a meal with them. My husband and I do not celebrate Christmas as such, but I have lived here all my life and it is really nice to celebrate with family and friends. It is a lovely time of year for everyone to get together.

In Aberdeen, Christmas Day is so quiet, apart from the occasional horn sounding from cars outside picking people up to take to parties. There are no buses, everything is closed, it is like a ghost town.

However, I woke up this boxing day to be pleasantly surprised to find a blanket of snow outside, not sure if it will last. Snow is not a regular occurrence as it was in the past.

I am going to take a wander into the shops and have a browse around the sales. After the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, everyone heads to the shops again to pick up a bargain.

The next stage of the festive season is to look forward to the New Year.

How To Stop Procrastination And Achieve High Productivity

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We are all guilty of hesitating and talking ourselves out of doing something. There are ways to take action by following these few steps.

Be selective with tasks. Start the most difficult first even though it is tempting to do it last, it will be done and you can relax. Prioritise each task so if it has to be done, it cannot be left to the next day. Complete each task you set out to work on.

Develop habits through practise and repetition. Tasks will eventually be part of your daily routine. You will feel more positive when you achieve what you need to do.

Have clear, written goals and set deadlines so they are achieved. List what you have to do, set out a plan and do something each day towards achieving them.

Plan each day in advance. Plan what you are going to do that day and when. Do the most important tasks first and anything that is not completed that day, do tomorrow. Each completed task can be ticked off your list.

Focus on high value tasks that achieve more. This can be activities that help you achieve your goals. Hard work has positive consequences. Procrastinate on low value tasks that can be left undone and there will be no loss. Cut back on time-consuming tasks and activities such as watching TV.

Use ABCDE to prioritise tasks. A as a very important task that has to be completed quickly. Do it before anything else. Delegate tasks that can be delegated. Do tasks yourself that can be done only by you so, if you do not do it, it does not get done at all. Improve on areas where you perform poorly.

Take tasks a step at a time. Concentrate on three tasks so you do not get overwhelmed. When you have completed a task, add another to your list.

Balance work with family. Moderation in all things is important for your well-being. Work hard when you are working and relax and spend time with your family when you are not working. The more time you spend with people, the happier you will be.

Prepare before you start. Gather everything for the task, lay it out and get started. One step at a time.

Keep learning new things. This gives you confidence. It will make you more productive and effective.

Identify what you do well and enjoy. What you learn in life can never be taken from you. Identify weaknesses and find a solution.

Put a little pressure on yourself. Set high standards. Imagine that you have only today to achieve your tasks. Imagine you are going away on holiday the next day and you have to complete your tasks before you go.

Overworking can affect how well we produce and we start to make mistakes. Work on the time of day you function best. Get enough sleep, so go to bed early. Have a day off in the week so you can recharge and go on holiday regularly. Eat healthy and take exercise.

Motivate yourself through positive talk, being optimistic is important for motivation and success. Always talk positively to others. You become what you think about.

Take time away from technology. Turn it off at regular intervals. It gives you time to gather thoughts. Technology can be addictive.

Cut your tasks down and do one part at a time. Set aside time for tasks such as; calls, reading, etc. Organise them into time periods to achieve the task.

Develop a sense of urgency, build up momentum and get tasks done quickly and fast so you have time to start new ones.

Self-discipline is the key with periods of hard concentrated work with no distractions or diversions.

Following the above steps will prevent procrastination and you will achieve your highest performance and productivity.

Tracy, B. (2007). Eat that frog!. 1st ed. San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

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The Passive Income

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Having total freedom to live our lives the way we want to live is something we all dream of. Getting paid whether we are at work or if we are ill, we are still making money. This is called a passive income.

There are many ways to make a passive income such as, through the rental of properties or joining a network marketing company.

When we decide the way we want to make a passive income, we should spend our time learning how to do it and then we can reap the rewards. However, it is a journey that takes time, it does not happen overnight.

We should have goals and dreams to motivate us. Write them down in present tense as if they have already happened. Keep a notebook or journal of all the goals and dreams that we want. Belief is what keeps us motivated, doubt and hesitation is self-sabotage, we will never get around to doing anything with that approach.

Learn three simple steps and keep it simple, do not complicate things. For my business the three steps are retail, sponsor and training. Write down goals that get us excited, limit to three, then add more each time one has been accomplished.

How we interpret a situation is what drives our actions to succeed or fail. For example, if we were to fail in a business, depending if we pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off would depend on how we looked at the situation. The first scenario would be saying to ourselves, "I am no good at running a business, I might as well give up" with a different scenario, "I am going to learn more about how to run a business and try again". How we feel about a situation guides how we take action. Holding onto our beliefs is the way to succeed.

Adler, J. (2011). Beach Money. Cork: BookBaby.

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Visualise Your Dreams

Keeping motivated can be challenging. Using a vision board can be an effective way of visualising what we want. It creates a desire and helps us keep motivated and stay focused.

A vision board can be changed if we want, it can be done weekly, monthly or yearly. It is a simple board with pictures of what we desire and what inspires us. We must look at it on a daily basis and it has to be put somewhere that it can be seen every day.

My first picture on my vision board would be my income. I want to work towards earning £2000 per month. Over time this will change, but for now, this is what I want to earn.

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My next picture would be owning my own property. I would like to own a house with my own swimming pool.

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I would also like to own a property abroad. Morocco would be a place I would love. The weather is good all year round and it is not too far from the UK.

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I want to work on my relationships. I will not be able to keep everyone happy and I want to stay out of hostility, so I will spend time with those who want to spend time with me and who help me grow. I want to feel that I can get on with my life and enjoy it in a positive and happy way.

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I want to create a good balance between work and pleasure. I want to have time with family and friends, doing the things I love and not spending all my time working.

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Working on my personal development is very important to me. It will guide me in the right direction in my life and help me grow and be a better person. To achieve this, I want to read one personal development book per week.

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Finally, I want to visit places I have not been to before. Experience new cultures, new food and new people.

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Each day I will look at my vision board to inspire and motivate me.

John Assaraf, Jim Rohn and Tony Robbins have information on how to create your vision board.

Winning After Losing Your Job

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Experiencing the loss of a job can be traumatic for anyone. We go through a series of emotions such as anger and embarrassment. However, there are ways that can help us cope.

Getting support from those around us is vital. We will not feel so isolated and alone if we have someone to talk to about how we are feeling. Kind words can build us up again. Attitude drives our action and our atmosphere impacts our attitude. So getting encouragement will produce a positive attitude.

Being careful with money is wise, but we should still do things that we enjoy no matter how small. We should not associate ourselves with what we do for a living as giving us our value. We should look back at all the things we have accomplished as this builds our self-esteem. We should look at the good things in our life and be honest with our emotions. Repressing our feelings leads to depression. Keep pursuing our passions and do the things we love.

Balancing work and family in our lives will produce a healthy well-being. Forgiveness is important as it benefits the person forgiving more than anyone else. We can move on and live a fulfilling life. We should not dwell on what has happened.

Feeling like a victim is normal for all of us but we cannot remain stuck there and become bitter and angry as it will paralyse us. A crisis can help us develop into stronger people.

Laveist, Wil. Fired Up. [United States]: Xulon Press, 2008. Print.

10 Habits For Success

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There are ten habits that keep us on track to success.

The first is keeping good habits each day. Reviewing them in the morning, at lunchtime and at night. Sticking to good habits help me work towards a better lifestyle. This is watching less television, exercise more, fill my mind with more positive information, reduce my time surfing the internet and eat healthier.

Second is listing my goals so I know what I want to achieve and if I am on the right track. Setting time to complete them, mark them off as I complete them, focus on them everyday using a vision board with pictures of what I want to achieve.

• Everyday Goals:  Posting to my selling group, check my emails, read a little each day to educate myself, do my phone calls, advertising products through catalogue delivery, deliver products to customers, have some me time and keep on top of my household chores.
• Monthly Goals:  Build my customer base so I am earning £1000 per month on retail, generate fifty prospects per week, sponsor two prospects per week, attend a meeting each month, keep in touch with friends, do something nice with a friend on a regular basis and read one book per week towards my personal development.
• Yearly Goals: Have a holiday at least once a year to get away and recharge, also work towards earning £2000 per month through sponsoring and retail.
• Long-Term Goals:  To own my own home, own a holiday home abroad and have financial freedom.

Third is working on improving myself. I must expand my knowledge through education in reading and attending courses. I must reduce my time on the internet and the TV. It is important to use my time wisely.

The fourth is caring for my health. I have to choose healthier snacks and meals. Take a bit of exercise which will improve my body and mind. Take note of what I eat, but I will give myself occasional treats as I do not want to make my eating habits so strict that I do not get any pleasure out of my food, it is just about monitoring calories and ensuring that I am getting plenty of fruit and vegetables.

The fifth is maintaining lifelong relationships. People are a very important part of our lives. I will remove harmful people from my life as they will not let me grow. Investing and taking the time to make others happy makes us feel good, such as remembering birthdays.

Sixth is living in moderation. Do not starve ourselves of things but do not overindulge. Keep life balanced, do not be extreme, resist the opportunity to binge, keep a moderate mindset.

Seventh is to accomplish tasks. Do what I can do, be proactive, do not procrastinate and keep control of my life.

The eighth habit is keep thinking in a healthy way. Remain positive, enthusiastic and happy. Keep control of emotions and not allow bad thoughts to alter a positive mindset. Stay away from the causes of fear and anxiety such as the media. Watch and read positive information and be good to myself.

Ninth is to save 10% of my gross income each time I get paid. Pay my pension and keep some savings.

Finally, the tenth habit is to control my thoughts and emotions. Keep negative feelings such as anger and jealousy out of my mind, instead replace them with kind thoughts and positive emotions.

Corley, Thomas C. Rich Habits. Print.

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Tapping Therapy

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Tapping is a simple technique that actually works!

When I was researching online for simple therapies to help with anxiety, stress and negative thoughts, I came across Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I thought that this cannot possibly be effective, but when I tried it, it really does reduce the problems. Brad Yates has dozens of videos on different therapies. It can be used for a variety of reasons such as procrastination, limiting beliefs, improving relationships and so on.

How tapping works:

1 Identify the problem.
2 Identify words that represent the problem.
3 Rate how high you are from 0 - 10 with your problem at this present moment.
4 Start tapping on the side of the hand, then the eyebrow point, then the side of the eye, then under the eye, then under the nose, then the chin, then the collar bone and lastly under your arm. Each area you tap you recite the words that represent the problem.
5 Rate your problem on how you feel now between 0 - 10.
6 You continue this over again until you reach zero intensity.

There is lots of information about Emotional Freedom Technique. Try it and use it if you feel it is right for you.

Thetappingsolution.com. (2016). The Tapping Solution (EFT): How To Get Started. [online] Available at: http://www.thetappingsolution.com/ [Accessed 24 Dec. 2016].

My DNA Results

Image By Louise MacPherson 10/9/16

I have my results from Ancestry.co.uk after waiting for over a month and I am quite surprised. As I was born in Scotland, I thought there would be a large part of me that would be British, but I am actually only 19% Great Britain and 66% Ireland. I also have ethnicity from every part of Europe. Most people who take part in the Ethnicity Test by Ancestry.co.uk are surprised by their results.



Obviously, I knew I was going to have ethnicity from Europe but I did not think to this extent. I am also 3% Iberian Peninsula, 3% Eastern Europe, 3% Western Europe, 2% Scandinavia and 2% Finland/Northwest Russia.



I also have traces of South Asia and Caucasus, but these are very small amounts.

It shows the amount of travelling our ancestors have done. If you were born in a country and even if your parents and grandparents were born in the same country, it does not mean that you are going to have any ethnicity from that particular country. Your ancestors could be from somewhere else altogether.

After finding this out, I am going to have more of an interest in Ireland, its history and will have to go for a visit.  

Mental Strength and Good Habits

I am learning the importance of keeping strong during hard times and learning to appreciate what I have.

It does not matter how much money, success and how perfect life seems, things can go wrong and we have to be able to cope and keep going no matter what. Good habits are what keep us going. So it is important for us to change our ways of thinking and create good habits and beliefs.

If we have negative beliefs about ourselves, we will feel sorry for ourselves and think we are not good enough. If we have negative beliefs about others, we will have feelings of jealousy and a lack of trust. This will affect our relationships. If we have negative feelings about the world, we will think the world owes us and it should be fair to us when it is not like that. It is about coping with problems and learning to be happy.

It is not easy to do as we have the habit of slipping back into our negative thoughts. The best way to deal with this is for us to recognise when we are following the negative path and then replace these thoughts with positive ones. This is what I do. I find it really helps.

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Getting Back To Nature

Today, living in our busy environment with the stresses and strains, it is important that we do not forget the little things in life that are all around us. Getting away from it all for a while is essential for us to recharge.

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I enjoy going out for a walk on the beach or in the country as it allows me to get away from my busy life. There are many ways we can enjoy ourselves in the outdoors. It can be activities such as cycling, hiking or canoeing.

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I feel nature benefits us in many ways such as calming, reducing stress, helps us get a good nights sleep, reduces worry and anxiety. When we take regular breaks to be in nature we have a better overall physical and mental health.

I feel that when I get out into nature I am a different person. I feel more relaxed and calm. The fresh air helps me sleep better and I do not sit and think about problems to the same extent. I love the smell of nature around me, such as the flowers, the beautiful colours, the smell of the grass and the singing of the birds.

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Happy Memories

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Remembering good memories help us to focus away from the negativity around us.  I have written two good memories from my life that really stick in my mind.

The first is when I went on a Cruise around the Mediterranean with my dad and brothers. It was such a lot of fun and interesting seeing different places in the Mediterranean. We visited Gibraltar, Greece and Turkey. One of the cities that we visited in Greece was Olympia where the very first Olympic games was held. The ship was huge and it was a great experience, everything in one place. It was very relaxing, we were taken really good care of by the staff and we made some new friends. There was so much food. We had three meals a day as well as afternoon tea. So we were always stuffed. The staff were fantastic, were always ready to help and make sure we were comfortable. It is a memory that has definitely stuck in my mind. I would love to go on a cruise again in the future.

Another great memory from childhood was going on holiday to Aviemore, Scotland. We stayed in a lodge at Dalfaber Golf and Country Club. We went there every summer and it was so much fun. I went with my mum, dad, brothers and sister. I remember going swimming, the summer weather was beautiful so we went fishing and drank milkshakes from the bar. A vivid memory of that holiday was the beautiful silver birch trees that grew throughout the estate.    

The Law Of Attraction

How does The Law Of Attraction work?

Bob Proctor is an author and motivational speaker on personal development.  I have watched some of his videos and read his books to understand the law if attraction.  He teaches us how we act is what we attract. To step out of our comfort zone and do things different.  How we are guided to make decisions.  Our belief is what guides the way we do things.  Positive information has to be input to receive positive results.  How we can change what we were taught to believe. Think, Belief, Act, Results.

We follow what we are conditioned to think from our environment.  False beliefs are inherited and they control us.  We have to change this and go beyond what we are taught to believe and be in charge of our own lives.  We must keep positive beliefs and change negative beliefs.

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Meditation for Stress

Meditation has many benefits.  I have been introducing small amounts of meditation into my daily routine.  It can be used for fear, anxiety, insomnia, anger and so much more.  I find it relaxes me when I am stressed.  It takes me away from the hustle and bustle of life.

Meditation videos can be found by searching on You Tube. There are very short videos for before work and longer videos that can be used before bed. They can be guided meditations where a speaker talks through the meditation process. There are videos with sounds of nature. These are my favourite; rain, thunder, sounds of the jungle,  wind, water and the ocean. If you prefer listening to relaxing music, this is available with or without sounds of nature.

Go ahead and try them out :).

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Human Nature and Communication

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To be effective in communicating we have to understand the rules of human nature.  We must think to ourselves; Why we do things that we do? Why we react the way we do?

It is a fact that we are interested in ourselves.  Our actions are always determined through self-interest and self-thought.  We all want to be recognised and have a desire to be important.  We are all guilty of recognising people the way we think or want them to be. We have to learn to recognise people for what they are.

A great skill to have is making other people feel important.  Listen to the person speaking and give them sincere compliments. It is polite to use their name as much as possible when talking, it lets them know we have taken an interest in them and taken the time to remember their name.  Pause before answering, it gives us time to think about what we are going to say and it shows we are processing what the speaker has said.  If we are talking to a group of people, acknowledge every person and encourage participation from them.

Be agreeable with others. Tell people that we agree with them.  Say 'yes' and we should show agreement by nodding our head.  Admitting when we are wrong is something that is very difficult for all of us but people will respect us for it. We should not disagree and argue with someone unless we really need to.  Learning to handle people who fight can be difficult.  The natural reaction is to fight and state our case.  However, this can be done in a way that does not flame the situation. People who fight want to, so do not give it to them.  It makes them look silly if they fight with us and we do not fight back.  No one ever wins an argument.

Listening to people is a great skill.  We can learn a lot from listening to what others have to say. People love to be listened to.  Keep good eye contact.  If our eyes wander all over the place, the speaker will think we are not interested in them and are not listening.   Ask the speaker questions. This shows we are processing what they are saying.  Don't interrupt the speaker and keep on the subject.

Recognise that everyone is different.  We all like different things, so to create a bond with someone, find out what they want, not what we want of them.  This is found through listening, asking and watching them.

If we want someone to do something, give them a good reason.  Something that would benefit them or benefit everyone.  We are more likely to get cooperation.  Give people a choice of when or how they want something done.  An example would be to ask which day they would prefer to do the task.

Set the mood.  What we give to other people we get back.  Give happiness and you will get happiness back.  Give a smile and keep a positive tone of voice.

Give people praise, they love this.  It brightens up their day.  If someone is feeling down, a compliment will go a long way in making them feel better so looking for something to praise in the people we speak to is important.  Everyone has something worth appreciation.  Do not give praise that is not sincere.  Focus on the act that has to be praised for example, 'your cooking is really good' and 'you are a great gardener, your garden is beautiful'.

When we do have to criticise people, there are effective ways of doing it.  It must be done in private. We do not want to humiliate the person we are criticising.  Do it in a friendly way and highlight their good actions at the same time so it softens the blow.  The act must be criticised, not the person, because after all it is the behaviour that is wrong.  Provide them with a resolution and ask for cooperation.

Thanking people is very important as it makes them feel appreciated.  Be sincere about it.  Say 'thanks' in a positive way, do not mumble or whisper.  Look at them and use their name to be polite.

It is important to give people a good impression of us.  Respect ourselves most importantly.  It is important to act the way we want to be treated.  Say things we mean, be enthusiastic, try to not be anxious, it puts doubt in peoples minds.  We must not build ourselves up by putting other people down.  If criticism is not constructive, it just shows us up and reveals things about us and our own life.

We must be knowledgeable about what we want to say.  We are all guilty of not doing this. We discuss topics that we do not have any knowledge.  It is also how we use our knowledge that is important and how we say things that makes us who we are.

These are some important tips on daily communication.  They are useful at work and with daily life in all our relationships.  Good communication is the key to happiness.

Giblin, L. (1985). Skill with people. Wyckoff, N.J.: L. Giblin.

Effective Communication

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How we communicate with others is very important.  We are all capable of influencing the actions of others around us.  It is just a matter of using it to our benefit or disadvantage. Here are some important points to learn when speaking to other people.

Our physical actions express our mental attitude.  If we are in a situation that is going to escalate into an argument the best way is to lower our tone of voice.  Keep it soft and this will calm the other speaker and encourage them to keep their voice soft too.  If both speakers shout at each other, it will just escalate into an argument.  We tend to mirror behaviour.  If someone smiles at us we smile back. When we are enthusiastic it gives other people confidence.  A confident handshake shows we are feeling confident.

Set the stage on how we want our conversation to develop.  If we want to be informal, start off informal and if we want to be more formal, start formal.  Do not put on an act. If we do, this means we do not think highly of ourselves.  Every time we judge, people will judge us.  Never use negative talk, people do not like it, we are also setting ourselves up for a negative conversation.

It is important to develop an attractive personality using acceptance, approval and appreciation.  The first is acceptance.  This is very important in all relationships. Accepting people as they are will give us the power and freedom to change our behaviour for the better.  We will never develop close relationships with other people if we do not accept them as they are.  Approval allows us to find something in others worth approving.  People love to gain approval because it means they have something in them that we like.  Appreciation allows us to value other people.  People love to be recognised for their worth.

Being able to express ourselves in words is the secret to happiness.  When we do this well we are able to express our desires, disappointments and ideas to other people.  When speaking to people, do not worry about being perfect.  It is just about having a conversation with someone.  People often worry about being dull and boring in a conversation.  If we do not try too hard, we will probably discover that we are being a really interesting conversationalist.  Asking questions about where people are from or if they have a family, gives them the chance to talk about themselves. We should ask further questions on the facts they provide us with.  For example, if they say they have children, we can ask them, 'How many?' and 'What are their names?' Save talking about ourselves until we are asked. Finding things we have in common creates a bond.  Keep the conversation positive and do not tease the other speaker.  It can be a fun way of showing affection, but it can damage someones self-esteem. Teasing is only effective with someone we know really well.

Listening to others is a very effective form of communication.  It makes the speaker feel that we are interested in them.  They will also tell us what they want and we learn what they are like as a person. If we know what they want, need and understand who they are, we can deal with them effectively.  If we listen to people, it increases their self-esteem and pays them a great compliment that we are genuinely interested in them.

There are times that arise when we need to get others to accept our viewpoint.  Do not use pressure by ridicule.  Listen to their ideas first, we need to remember to not be pushy with our ideas.  Take time to pause before answering.  It lets the speaker know we are really thinking about what they are saying.  Acknowledge other peoples ideas and find some point where we can both agree.  Be accurate in stating our case and do not exaggerate.  Agree with their argument and change the picture by showing them new information if they do not agree.

Compliment people, it helps us get along with others and we must make sure we are sincere about it. It does not matter how big or small.  Also, thank them.  It makes people realise how much we appreciate them. When we look for good things in others it boosts our own happiness.  It helps us see people in a more positive way and makes us more tolerant and considerate towards others.

Criticism is used when it is necessary.  It must be constructive and done in privacy.  Do it in a kind way by highlighting things they do well and how they can do something better. The act has to be criticised, not the person.  Ask them for cooperation and correct only once.  Finish in a way that lets them feel we know they can do it and do it well.

Les Giblin, 2001. The Art Of Dealing With People. (Chapters four to eleven), Edition. Les Giblin.

Humanity and Self-Pity

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What is it like to be human?   I have learned so much about the human race in the short time I have been working on personal development.  Humans seem to be naturally negative, self-indulgent and destructive.  We focus on the bad when we should focus on the good.  Yes, bad things happen in the world but we must not let it rule our lives.  We can't always control things that happen, but we can change our attitude to it.

I came across a therapist, author and motivational speaker called Sean Stephenson when I was browsing facebook.  He has come through so much in his life and become a successful man.  He teaches that the only prison we have is in our mind. He explains why some rich and famous peoples lives are still a mess.  It is the way they think.

In a recent Q&A session about how to cure our insecurities, Sean mentions what people usually focus on.  This is called FED: Fears, Envies and Dislikes.  Fears are what we don't want, Envies are what we don't have and Dislikes are what we don't like, our complaints. We need to focus on the positive and become GAP: Goals, Appreciations and Preferences. Goals are what we want, Appreciations are what we have and Preferences are what we like.  Sean teaches ways to get from FED to GAP.  These are; spend time with people who's values you admire, lifestyle you want and people that need your support, because it feels great to give something back to society.  I am not a person that sits watching the news.  I occasionally read the newspaper to catch up with what is going on in the world, but not very often because it focuses on the world being bad and if we feed ourselves this all the time we will continue to crave it because it is all we think that exists ("Q&A With Sean") .

We are all on this earth for such a short time and we have to make the most of it while we are here.  I was a person who focused on the world being a bad place, but now I am going to focus on it being a good place. After all, there are lots of wonderful things in the world to appreciate.

"Q&A With Sean". Sean Stephenson Ridding the World of Insecurity. N.p., 2016. Print.

Ego

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The idea of success is different for everyone.  The main reasons for failure are not being able to deal with other people.  We all must learn to deal with people so the ego of both parties remains intact.

In order that you gain respect from others, you should not take things by force or by begging.  When a person has their ego damaged, they act in an irrational and destructive way. On the other hand, when their ego is protected, people will react in ways which are noble. Everyone feels the need to defend their individual personality.  Every person is important and the ways to be more tolerant and less critical of others is to get over your own insecurities and discontentment.  When self-esteem is high, it is really easy to get along with other people, when it is low, anyone and everything around you is a threat.

Ways to boost ego is through praise and genuine compliments.  This helps people like themselves better.  Acting in a courteous and polite manner are ways to recognise others.  If a person is constantly told they are worthless, over time they will not maintain their dignity and worth.  Things that seem little and unimportant that are repeated over and over can have an adverse affect on human relations.  Ways to make someone feel important are; see everyone as important because at the end of the day people are important and interesting, pay attention to other people, resist the temptation to compete with others as we do not want to make others feel small so we can feel larger and to know when to correct others, do not do it if it does not solve any real problems.

Les Giblin, 2001. The Art Of Dealing With People. (Chapters One to Three), Edition. Les Giblin.

Studying My Personality: Mixes

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We are all unique.  We are all a mix of different personalities.  There are four main personality types.  Peaceful Phlegmatic, Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric and Perfect Melancholy.  Most of us have traits from one type and some traits from another. Some people are a mix of two different personality types.  There are Natural Blends, Complimentary Blends and Opposites.

The first Natural Blend is a mix of Popular Sanguine and Powerful Choleric.  This blend is outgoing, optimistic and outspoken.  They make great leaders or have the potential for great leaders.  They are a mix of positive traits such as; fun loving, able to accomplish goals, determination, able to direct others.  Their negative traits can be; bossy, impatient, interrupts and controls the conversation and impulsive. The second natural blend is a mix of Perfect Melancholy and Peaceful Phlegmatic.  This blend is introverted, soft-spoken and pessimistic.  Their positive traits are; they love to study, have the ability to get along well with people and they make great educators.  Some negative traits include; they procrastinate and they have trouble decision making.

The first Complimentary Blend is a mix of Powerful Choleric and Perfect Melancholy. Their positive traits are; their leadership drive, achieving goals, analytical detail-conscious schedule-orientated mind and have the great potential to be successful.  A negative trait is they can be very overbearing. The second Complimentary Blend is Popular Sanguine and Peaceful Phlegmatic.  Their positive traits are; takes it easy and has fun, easygoing nature, warm and they make very good friends.  Some negative traits are; can be lazy, no direction or focus and poor at handling money.

The first Opposite is a mix of Popular Sanguine and Perfect Melancholy.  This mix can have emotional problems due to the ups and downs of their outgoing nature along with a negative outlook. The second Opposite is Powerful Choleric and Peaceful Phlegmatic.  This mix can have a work hard attitude at work and when they get home never get around to doing anything as they go into chill mode.

Understanding ourselves and others is the main component of self-improvement.  It helps us understand why we behave in a certain way and why others behave the way they do.  It also helps us accept our weaknesses and others weaknesses.  We can all work on our weaknesses and brush up our strengths.

I am mainly Peaceful Phlegmatic, but have a lot of traits from Perfect Melancholy.  I have to learn to accept compliments, not to be too sensitive about what other people say and not to feel guilty about my decisions.  I need to motivate myself when it comes to my goals and take control of situations and not leave it to others.

Littauer, F. (1992). Personality plus. (Part Four),  Tarrytown, N.Y.: F.H. Revell Co.

Studying My Personality: Working On Negative Personality Traits

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Each personality type has their own strengths and weaknesses. It is important to highlight them and work on reducing the weaknesses and improving the strengths.

Popular Sanguine

Talk too much: they need to talk half as much as usual and let someone else control the conversation, watch their listeners for boredom, get to the point and to not exaggerate when talking and telling stories.

They are self-centred: they have to learn to be sensitive to other people, listen and look at each person they are speaking to and listen to others.

They do not have good memories: they must pay attention to people's names and write everything down so they can remember it later.

They are fickle: they need to take time for people and put others needs first.

Interrupt and answer for others: start to enjoy silence and let others do the talking.

Disorganised and immature: they need to focus on sticking to the same job, take time to achieve what they want, get round to getting things done, grow up, face responsibilities and make realistic plans.

Perfect Melancholy

Easily depressed: they need to start being cheerful, don't take things personally, not read into things too deeply, smile at people, keep all situations positive, be enthusiastic, don't get hurt easily, look for the best in people, when things go wrong be grateful of the experience and learn from it.

Have low self-images: they have to accept compliments and address insecurities.

Procrastinate: it is essential they get organised and carry things out quickly and not to spend too much time planning.

Unrealistic demands on others: they need to relax their standards, everything in life is not perfect.

Powerful Choleric

They are compulsive workers: they need to learn to relax, don't need to organise everything, do not put pressure on others and plan some leisure activity not just work.

Must be in control: let others be the leader for a change, relax when not in charge, they do not have to be right all the time and not look down on others, stop manipulating and be open.

Don't know how to handle people: they must be patient with people, keep their opinions to themselves until asked, be more approachable, not be bossy and overbearing, stop the controversy and causing trouble.

Are always right which makes them unpopular: allow others to be right for a change, apologise if they have done something wrong and admit to their faults because everyone has them.

Peaceful Phlegmatic

Do not get enthusiastic: they are unable to get excited about things or show it.

Resist change: they do not like change so they have to learn to embrace it.

Seem lazy: they must take responsibility for their life, don't put things off, do things they can today and motivate themselves to do things.

Quiet and wilful: they need to communicate their feelings, if things are not ok, say they are not, they have to open up and be honest about how they feel.

Wishy-washy attitude: they have to make decisions and accept responsibility for them and learn to say no.

Improving My Personality 

I am not good at making decisions because I do not want to hurt someone else's feelings so I have to learn to say no. I know that I will never be able to please everyone so just do what is best for myself. Be true to myself and be happy with it.

I have to work on accepting compliments and believing them. When someone compliments me I have to thank them. Compliments build confidence.  I am insecure at times and need to build my confidence and feel assured when I carry out any task that I do and that I will do it to the best of my ability.

Getting things done is important so I have not to spend too much time on the planning side. If I make a rough plan of what I need to do and proceed to carry it out.  Planning is important but I must also follow through with the task.  I have a habit of putting things off until a later date so I must be more motivated and spur myself into action.

I must not expect things to go perfectly and if things do not, I must work to improve and learn from it.

I am not the type of person that shows enthusiasm or excitement. It does not mean that I do not get enthusiastic or excited, I just do not show it. I am aware this can annoy people or make people feel that I am not interested in them so I need to show more enthusiasm.I have a habit of not expressing how I feel and this affects my relationships with others. I have to be more open about my feelings and tell people how I am feeling to improve my relationships.

I need to try new things and broaden my horizons, I have to be more adventurous and think of something new at least once a week.

I am aware that I have a tendency to be too sensitive and take things that people say to heart. I can read into things too deeply and overreact or get the wrong idea about a particular situation. I need to look at things positively and not take the opinion of others too seriously.

Littauer, F. (1992). Personality plus. (Part Three), Tarrytown, N.Y.: F.H. Revell Co.